“I am truly only a child” is what I tell myself often, but its amazing to see how much 14 short years can change someones whole view about the world. I remember when I was much younger, I would watch teenagers walk by my mum and I in the store and be fascinated and slightly imitated by their appearance. Belly button shirts, boy friends and girl friends, really long hair and really short hair, painted nails and big purses, lip stick and car keys were all common things I would see. When I would stare I thought that they couldn’t see me, they had their friends to keep them busy while I dreamed about what I would look like as a teen. The other day I as walking through Wal-mart and a little girl who was no older then 7 stared at me the same way I used to stare. She looked me up and down and I pretended like I didn’t know I was being watched. I left Wal-mart and I noticed that I was a strange imitating big purse wearing teenager creature and no longer like that 7 year old.
As a younger kid I never had much to worry about, I was a typical get in your space, blond piggy tale wearing, dress twirling little girl who could make friends in a blink of an eye. I always felt lovely, I felt like I could b what ever I wanted, I could touch the sky if I tried hard enough. There was little to no drama. Now I can’t even go on Facebook without there being huge amounts of drama, whether its the resent brake ups and make ups or name calling there is always something dramatic happening in the world of teen.
I am slowly changing from a little girl to a women one small step at a time. I still like to drew with crayons with the little kids, but I also know how to have a conversation with an adult and not make them feel like they are talking with a child. I teach Sunday school, make dinner for my family of 7, and still spend time playing around with my friends. But When is a woman a woman? Is it when she has her first baby? Gets married? Starts her period? Or something else? I plan on asking this question to several women this week. I am only 14 but I have come along way from were I was 1 , 2, 3, 4 years ago. I think being a woman is a maturity thing over all. I believe that every girl makes the journey to women hood and that it depends on the person and what God has for that person. I pray to God for wisdom for my day and to help me be the woman He wants me to be.
I am having to trust God more and more with my emotions. I know that its so easy to let my heart fall into that crap, but I’m slowly learning how to spend less time focusing on drama and more time on God.